They say you go blind.

I can't sleep. I'm completely restless and anxious for no one reason I can put a finger on. It's like that feeling you get of having excited/nervous butterflies without knowing why. I've always kind of considered that a good feeling, except, of course, if it's robbing you of sleep. ;)

So I cleaned up for bed, got under the covers and everything, and then decided blogging was gonna work better than shut eye for the moment. :P Colin and I saw "The Crazies" a few days ago and it was suuper scary, but also really good. Problem with this is that, as I was walking through our pitch dark house to get my computer, I started having flashbacks from the movie and got really creeped out. Haha it took me a few minutes to get enough courage to go farther than the hallway and then I nearly had the shit scared out of me by my bathrobe hanging on one of the doors. Sheesh. Over-active imagination, much? :-p

Other than that, there's not much more exciting news to report on. I spent most of today watching corny movies and strange tv shows I had never watched before. I'm thinking I'll try and get some real productivity going tomorrow, or else I think this cooped up energy syndrome will only get worse. ;)

I was also thinking today that I don't want to do or have anything half-assed anymore. A lil rando thought, I know, but the revelation's been brewing for a while (hahaa I feel like I'm trying to sound so wise!). Thing is, I have so much that is good and real in my life that I unfortunately let go by the wayside a lot of times in favor of things that I'm not sure really make me happy. I think a lot of people closest to me know what I'm thinking about, even if it might not be that obvious. I guess . . I dunno how to explain it, haha . . I want to put all the effort into where it belongs: I want the people I adore to have no doubt that I feel that way about them. I want people to trust me and see me as someone they know will be there. I wanna do what I want. I want to stop being a baby without confidence in her work and start knowing that I can design and that I'm good at it because I love it.

So I know that things can get lost in translation through text but I didn't mean for that to be emo or for it to be a rant. I'm very happy ;) I debated writing about that for like ten minutes before I actually did it.lol. Maybe I'm just growing up? Chyeah, we will see :P

Alright. Now I am pooped. So maybe bedtime for real? (:

Oh, but one more thing. My friend Hilary is a music genius and 5 years ago she gave me one of the best soundtracks I own, even as of now. I get re-obsessed with it all the time (like now), and that's a sure sign of good stuff. ;)



-Bee.