"I ain't here to do anything halfway."

"Don't give a damn what anyone might say,
I just wanna free fall for a while."

So listen up- I finally figured out what inspires me to blog. Music! Haha, shocker I know. =p I love writing anytime to blow off steam or shake out excitement, but I'll be most likely to whip out my computer after listening to some of my favorite artists. This whole statement seems kinda pointless, but whatever. ;] It's true!

"I've been roaming around, always looking down at all I see. Painted faces fill the places I can't reach. You know that I could use somebody."

I feel like I've recently fallen back in love with my friends. Now don't get me wrong- they will always mean the world to me, but I've lately become even more aware of just how incredible they are. It's kind of sad to me that it sometimes takes hardships or changes to make me realize it, but I am so lucky. How could I ever think, even for a second, that they wouldn't want to help me out? Or that they wouldn't have time for me when I needed it? How could I ever think those things, knowing that I would always want to do the same for them? The best part of all this is that I'm finding all these amazing things in old friends as well as more recent ones, in people I never believed I could get so close to and people I thought had forgotten about me. I just wish I had never forgotten about some of them. From here on in, I'm not going to waste my connections with people, even if I'm afraid they won't feel the same. It's always worth it. ;]

So, in other news, I have a new obsession:



Haha oh yeahh. =p I don't care about your twilight misconceptions- this show is the shit. It's got an awesome plot line and I love the characters . . . needless to say, I'm addicted. :D

Well, that's about all I've got to say for this post. But no- one more thing: when your favorite book of all time is made into a movie, you should probably not go see it in case they change anything huge like . . I don't know . . . the entire ending. And they WILL. But I'm not bitter =p

haha but seriously, if you're going to see the movie "My Sister's Keeper," spare yourself the dramatics and read the book. Amazing!

Love. Bee.

P.S. I don't mean to shove more Michael Jackson down people's throats, but I love this video (and song of course haha). Regardless of what he was like when he died, the man was soo ahead of his time in the entertainment world and he did so many iconic things. The dancing in this video is siiick. Sorry Justin Timberlake and Usher- we know where you got it from. =]

Hide and Seek

So, in case you haven't heard . . . I survived my first year at UC and (maybe more importantly) in DAAP! haha ;D These past nine months have been both the hardest and best in my life. I don't want to forget this.

I feel like I have changed dramatically and learned so much. These are some of the most important things:

Janel and I can watch "Rent" ad nauseum and never everrr get tired of it. Oh- and we will never reach a conclusion on the "which one of us will marry Adam Pascal" argument. =p

DAAP is not nearly as intense as people think. But it's true that your crazy 3D projects will not do themselves if you wait until the week they are due to work on them.

I will never fight for anyone's attention. If it's someone who really cares about me, I don't think I should ever have to do that.

If anything strange is going to happen during the day, it will happen to Courtney, Janel and I. ahahaha.

Facebook chat is ideal for having shocking and intense conversations. haha. But, if we're being honest, I would always rather talk to you in person.

Courtney and I don't usually follow through on our big, mischievous plans (e.g. streaking, making our movie). haha. But it's totally okay to dream =]

If there's something you really wanna do, do it. You'll never get as many opportunities to try new things as you do in college.

I'm not nearly as good at being alone as I have been in the past. I feed off the energy of other people.

Relient K's "The Bird and The Bee Sides" album is amazing at relating to you and making you think. It also keeps me in "the zone" throughout three-hour drawing studios. (=

Theta = love. I don't need your stinkin' stereotypes. My sisters are amazing. :D

I'm incredibly good at finding "useful" things to do while putting off homework. =p

"Beautiful" by Taylor Swift and "Just Around the Riverbend" from Pocahontas (haha wtf, riiight?) will alwaysss get stuck in your head.

I try to always give people the best of me, but I slip up sometimes. That's why the people who love me despite that will always be gifts in my eyes.

Chances are, I think you're exceptional. =]

I can't believe this year is over, but I look forward to everything awesome we'll encounter in the future. For now, I'm just gonna make some hometown memories in the meantime. ;] I appreciate everyone who respected my boundaries, those who pushed me to break them and those who were just plain there for me. I don't forget easily.

Love. Bee.

"Where are your guts to fly?"

Goosebumps.

I whispered, 'I am too young'
And then, 'I am old enough';
Wherefore I threw a penny
To find out if I might love.
'Go and love, go and love, young man,
If the lady be young and fair.'
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
I am looped in the loops of her hair.

O love is the crooked thing,
There is nobody wise enough
To find out all that is in it,
For he would be thinking of love
Till the stars had run away
And the shadows eaten the moon.
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
One cannot begin it too soon.

-William Butler Yeats

I love poetry, and I never get tired of this one. (=

While we're talking about love - I am so happy and lucky to experience the different kinds of love I receive from the people around me.

I've decided that it's never okay to let anyone make you feel guilty about having a big heart. There's never enough love in this place.

xo. Bee.

"Take a good look at my face."

So I'm feeling a lot of emotions lately. The good news is, I'm not afraid of them. Alot of people (myself included), tend to feel guilty about some of the feelings they have. Here's my advice: Don't. Emotions are probably the most raw aspects of our personalities . . . you won't find many people able to be so true to themselves than when they are passionate about how something, or someone, makes them feel. I want to share some of the things my heart feels now. So here goes.

How come I end up where I started? How come I end up where I went wrong?

Not knowing whether or not you're good enough or talented enough to achieve your dreams is flat out scary. Is drive really ever enough?

I constantly grapple with the fact that my boyfriend has a disease that, even though he did nothing to bring it upon himself, prevents him from ever loving himself nearly as much as I love him.

I wish you knew how awesome it makes me feel that you are always genuinely happy to see me! I wish you knew how rare that kind of congeniality is in people.

How did we get here? I used to know you so well.

I hate that I am always constantly questioning whether you legitimately care about anything we talk about, or any time we spend together. Hate it.

He is too young. I'm affected more than a lot of people know.

"I have loved you with an everlasting love, therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you." God in action.

I have found a home in Cincinnati that I never expected to encounter. The people and experiences I've had here mean the world to me. I won't be ready to leave in a month, but . . .lucky me! I get to come back! :D

I'm terrified of you. But, at the same time, I always want to be around you.

Okay. Here's what I want to do. I want to challenge you (as in the person reading this =p) to love wholeheartedly, genuinely care about someone else over the insignificant distractions in your own life, and, when someone makes you strongly feel something, tell them. This is an important step that I only just realized. Because, it's easy for someone to argue that someone else only feels something because they "don't care" about you. But sometimes . . most of the time . . it's because we care too much. Share it.

I wrote this for you.



"It's easy. You love me with all your heart and soul until the end of time."

<3

She's a lady, and ladies shouldn't be messed with.

It's storming outside. (=

I'm trying to ignore the fact that it's ushering in a cold front and just enjoy all the lightning we can see from our dorm room window. It makes me feel like summer is really getting close! Courtney, Janel and I even went on an impromptu ice cream run in the rain . . got a little soaked, but it was definitely worth it.

Where did I go wrong?

I saw one of my ex-best friends today . . . I hate even using the term "ex" because that seems too harsh a phrasing for me. This person and I had no real falling out but, nonetheless, we don't keep in contact and things get awkward whenever we do run into each other. I've tried numerous times to reach out, but it's never returned . . leading me to believe I did something wrong, even though I have wracked my brain many times without coming up with a reason. It's heartbreaking. When I become close with someone, they mean the world to me- it's not hard for me to get attached. This is why losing a friend is one of the hardest things for me to accept. I know I said some things about this person that were harsh, but I didn't mean them and they only came out because I was hurt that, for whatever reason, they didn't consider me a friend anymore. I wish I could take the words back, even though they will never know I said them. Here's the upside- I've decided it's okay for me to always love this person, even if they aren't fond of my anymore. I won't regret it.

You've got moves, I've got shoes. Let's go dancin'.

While the aforementioned (BIG word! haha!) experience may not have been wonderful, here are some things about today that made it great:

1. Glorious weather. I got to wear my favorite pair of shorts!

2. Mickey Avalon finally got a twitter. Now I can take stalking him to a whole 'nother level. =p

3. Janel: "Oops- I just wrote 2000 instead of 2009 for the date. Why I would I put the year 2000? " *Pause* "Okay that's scary . . that just made me think of the Jonas Brothers."
Me: "Yeah, me too . . I just wasn't gonna say anything." lmao. SUCCESS!

4. My drawing professor said he was proud of me for grasping the concept of drawing eggs. That's right. Taste itt.

5. Dinner with 7 of my Theta sisters. No one does gossip like we do. ;D

6. Camilla Belle always responds to me on Twitter- that's very cool of her!

Well, I think that's about all the blog I've got in me for now. Tomorrow begins the first weekend of spring quarter . . . who knows what that will entail! haha. More exciting stories for my blog- that's what! =p

Thanks for reading.

<3 Bee.

P.S. I seriously admire this guy.

Do you love me? Now that I can dance . . .

So, if the title of this post is any indication, I've been on a Motown kick every since it was the theme on AI last week. :D 

To my whole 2 followers(haha)- sorry it's been so long since I've blogged. One excuse, one word: twitter. haha. I spend so much time on that thing, I've started thinking I have a character limit on everything I write. =p

Oh- and in other website news, Janel and I deleted our facebooks today. RELIEF! 

My good friends is all I need, man I love college. 

I moved back in to UC today after a spring break that was both too long and too short. I'm pretty excited to be back because everyone says spring quarter is the best. If it's seriously better than fall quarter, it's onnnn.  I'm watching 'Twilight' tonight with Nikki, Janel and Courtney, which reminds me- there's a wall across from the elevator on each floor of my dorm that the RA's decorate differently every quarter. When the doors opened on our floor this afternoon, I saw that ours was decorated to say "and so the lion fell in love with the lamb." I laughed out loud. Our nametags on our doors are even apples . . . "edible art?" haha . . I'm so lame. ;] 

Well, I can't really think of anything else to write about, so I'm going to post a couple youtube videos instead. The first one in celebration of one of my favorites songs- the other one in celebration of me spending ungodly amounts of money for Jonas Brothers tickets. lol? 

love. Bee.

Hollywood aint no place for lovers anymore.

Oh, how it's been a while. (=

I've been so swamped with work and activities since this past weekend. Whew. Here's a quick re-cap: Formal and Eric's visit were a blast. I love my Theta sisters and the adventures we have when we hang out (this needs to happen more often). Design school is hard. One more week left in this yucky winter quarter! 

I found out yesterday that a girl I graduated high school with was killed in a car crash.  It just serves as a reminder that life really isn't fair sometimes. =/ She's the first person my age I knew to die. I feel numb.

In other news, the weather has been unseasonably warm today and tomorrow is supposed to be even warmer!! I know this is a lame thing to talk about, but it's crazy how much a nice day can positively affect my mood. I feel like Spring is getting closer every day, and I am more than ready. ;D 

Well, sadly enough, that's about all I have to update about. Tomorrow is my last day of classes for the week, so I'm hoping I will have some more exciting adventures to write about in the near future. Time to work on my english presentation . . while watching "American Idol" of course! =p 

Looove. Bee. 

Pee. Ess.

In celebration of the Jonas Brother's 3D movie being amazing (no joke!), I am posting this video. Sooo funny. I wouldn't lie about this. ;] 

Sometimes the hardest thing to believe is the truth.

Alright so I actually wrote this last night, but my computer froze and I didn't realize that blogger saves your posts while you are writing them (how cool is that?!). So anyway, here goes(=

Today was a glorious day outside! I couldn't enjoy it, unfortunately, because I'm stuck in studios all day on Wednesdays. But last time I checked, it was still a glorious night. :D

I've come to the conclusion that I am just always going to care about some people more than they're going to care about me. I think this is what has bothered me for a while in my relationships with some other people- I felt like I could only put in as much as they did. But now (some people may find this kinda strange), I'm okay with it. It's not that I particularly enjoy feeling like an option to someone who I consider a priority, but I'd rather just value a person in my life without questioning it. It's much less complicated, and much more real, that way. I'm also sure that I've been on the other side of this situation as well. 

I've also realized that a lot of my favorite songs have lyrics that are raw and...I'm not sure how to describe it...exposed? Even if the words are almost brutally real- I love that in a song. Kind of a random bit of information, I know, but it's a connection I surprisingly just recently made. =p

"She lifts her skirt up to her knees, walks through the garden rows with her bare feet, laughing. I never learned to count my blessings, I choose instead to dwell in my disasters." 

"Then think of what you did and how I hope to God he was worth it... I've got more wit, a better kiss, hotter touch, a better fuck than any boy you'll ever meet, sweetie you had me." 

"See I don't mind, but I'm not surprised to find that you do. You see I know that I have done all this to you, to you. And I feel fine, but I know the same does not apply to you. Yeah I know the same does not apply to you, So I guess that I'll curl up and die too." 

"I don't love you, I'm just passing the time. You could love me if I knew how to lie."

"I'm here to remind you of the mess you left when you went away. It's not fair to deny me of the cross I bear that you gave to me."

Okay, I think that's enough examples. =p haha. 

Jonas Brothers tomorrow. (= And my love is coming on Saturday. Busy, Busy, Busy, Happy. 

Loove. Bee. 

You may say that I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.

I love the cliche-ness of my title today.

I have a large amount of homework I need to do, but I feel like I can't do it well unless I post an entry first. haha. I've taken quite a liking to this blog thing, and I've set a goal for myself to post my thoughts every day.

Tonight I am feeling inspired. Inspired by my friends. Which makes me even happier...and luckier. Even though this particular group of my friends and I are in the process of overcoming an ugly and unfortunate obstacle, I've realized the true meaning of friendship and sisterhood through witnessing their thoughts tonight.  Now matter how many mistakes we make or how frustrated we all become with things, I will always feel honored to call myself a part of them. 

My friend Claire and I are reverting back to a 12-year-old state this Friday and going to see the new 3D Jonas Brothers movie. Oh how I cannot tell a lie...I am so excited!! We are going all out....JoBros shirts and everything...fantastic. :D 

Well, now I'm starting to feel guilty about the whole homework thing, so I'll end with this: My new goal is to put more effort into living my dreams than into dreaming them. 

Oh, and this: One of my favorite videos from my all-time favorite band:

xo. Bee. 

I can't sleep nights for thinking of you.

My studio this afternoon was cancelled and I am thrilled. Not having a three-hour class smack in the middle of the day leaves me with mass amounts of free time...the possibilities are endless. :D

We finished our chapter on the Renaissance in my art history class today, and I've got to admit- I'm going to miss it.  I've always loved art, but some of the Renaissance paintings and sculptures we studied were beautiful and made me excited about going to that long lecture. haha. Here's the "Creation of Adam" from my favorite ninja turtle, Michelangelo. =p

Overall, I think last night's Oscar's were pretty pro. They dragged a little in the middle during the production-type awards, but I can appreciate their effort to put some excitement into it with the different sets and exciting presenters.  As I'm sure everyone knows by now, "Slumdog Millionaire" bitch slapped the competition, clarifying my feelings of really needing to see that movie. lol. And Kate Winslet won best actress! Yesss! I think she's so amazing and elegant. (= I haven't seen "The Reader," my I'll trust my mom's word that it was really good.

Should I give up? Or should I just keep chasing pavements...even if it leads nowhere...

Well, I'm also excited because Monday nights are the best night in TV! haha. First "House" comes on at 8 (this is my roommate and I's faaavorite), then we have a "homework" break between 9 and 10, and the "Secret Life of the American Teenager" comes on at 10 (Yeah...this is probably one of the most horrible shows in television history, but we are addicted to it nonetheless. haha!), and finally "The City" at 11.  Whitney pretty much has my dream job and lifestyle, but I wish they would show more fashion than love triangles on that show. Whatever.

Well, I've got to try and be productive with homework, eat something, and then work out with the girls. I love you for reading this, so I'll leave you with something I love. 

I carry your heart with me

I carry it in my heart

Anywhere I go, you go, my dear

And whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling

I fear no fate, for you are my fate, my sweet

I want no world, for beautiful you are my world, my true

And it's you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you

Here is the deepest secret nobody knows

Here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

And the sky of the sky of a tree called life; 

which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide

And this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

 I carry your heart. I carry it in my heart. 

xo. Bee, 

'Life is de Bubbles'

Hey There. :D

So here goes post number one in my blogging career. haha. Like I told my friend Courtney today, I think I'm one of those people who needs to get my thoughts out there in some way. I'm not sure if anyone will read this, but I'm excited about it nonetheless. (= 

I'm watching the Oscars with my roomie right now...we've been looking forward to this all week! I've discovered two things so far: 1. Frieda Pinto's ("Slumdog Millionaire") dress is INcredible. 2. Seth Rogen probably has my favorite laugh in all of history. Haha! It's so great.

Here's Frieda Pinto's John Galliano dress.

I can't wait to see how this year's Oscars play out...Like many others, I'm rooting for Heath Ledger to win Best Supporting Actor, but he's got some tough competition. I'm such a sucker for awards shows ;]

I ordered the new "Live in Chicago" CD from Panic at the Disco the other day. To celebrate how psyched I am about this, I'm going to post my favorite Panic interview in this post. Watch and laugh! 

 

Well, that's about all the news I've got for today...I was so excited about starting this blog that I didn't take much time to think about what I was actually going to write. In the meantime, check out the blogs I follow in my "Blogs I Love" section over  - - -> there. They're great. =] 

Thanks for reading!

Loove. Bee.